In this situation, Scarlet faced a really uncomfortable and disrespectful scenario at Thanksgiving, where her husband’s mother and ex-girlfriend seemed to work together to make her feel unwelcome. Here’s what I think could have happened in this difficult situation:
Confronting the Issue: In the moment, Scarlet could have addressed her feelings of exclusion and hurt more directly, perhaps confronting Shaun or his mother privately before resorting to the more dramatic move of sitting on his lap. This might have given Shaun the chance to step in and create a more supportive environment, either by rearranging seating or having a conversation about how uncomfortable the situation was for Scarlet.
Standing Her Ground: While it was bold, sitting on Shaun’s lap was a kind of protest, and it made the situation awkward enough to force attention on the issue. However, Scarlet could have also walked away if the tension was unbearable, rather than sitting through a dinner where she clearly felt disrespected.
Shaun’s Role: Ultimately, Shaun should have been the one to address the seating issue and the overarching problem of his mother and ex-girlfriend’s behavior. He should have communicated with his family ahead of time to ensure that Scarlet felt included and respected. A husband should stand up for their partner when faced with blatant disrespect from their family members.
Communicating with Angela and Julissa: Post-dinner, Scarlet needed to have a serious conversation with her mother-in-law and Julissa to set boundaries. She could have calmly explained how she felt disrespected and made it clear that their actions were hurtful. Angela and Julissa’s continued behavior of pushing boundaries could only be addressed by setting firm limits.
In the end, though, it’s clear that Scarlet is not alone in feeling hurt. The responses online were a mixed bag, but they pointed out that the larger issue might be Shaun’s passive role in managing his family’s behavior. It seems clear that going forward, Scarlet and Shaun need to have an honest discussion about how to handle these tricky family dynamics.
What do you think? Would you handle it differently?